Devotional Message

"The Enemy Within"

"What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?" James 4:1

One day I went to the doctor to have him give me an ordinary check up. I try to keep myself in good health and to do that I get regular checkups. I have been in reasonably good health and my trips to the doctor are generally uneventful. But this last time I mentioned to him that my hearing was getting a little worse and that I was concerned about it. I also mentioned that the tinnitus (a continual noise in the ear, e.g. a ringing or roaring, usually caused by damage to the hair cells of the inner ear) was also more of a problem. He asked me how long I had this problem and I said that it was since my time in Vietnam in the seventies. He asked me to tell him about it so I did.

There was a time when we were surrounded by Viet Cong who were hiding in the jungles and firing at us from a large hill or small mountain. Helicopter gunships called "Cobras" flew in and fired at them but it was difficult to see them. I recall that they sprayed them with something and then flew off. After a day or two, a naval destroyer parked alongside our encampment which was in a small peninsula and lowered their cannons and waited for dark. When the sun went down, the enemy began dropping mortars at us. They also threw flares up in the air to see us better. Then they began to fire again. But this time the destroyer began firing their cannons right over our heads. This went on for what seemed like an eternity! The small mountain in which the enemy had held out seemed to have completely vanished by daybreak. When the firing stopped, my ears were ringing and I felt like my head was in a metal bucket! The doctors told the ringing would stop in a week or two. After all these decades, I am still waiting for the ringing to stop. My hearing seems to be getting worse too. At least the metal bucket went away!

After telling my doctor about all this the other day, he sent me down the hall to an ear specialist and he asked him to give me a hearing test. After about a half hour he gave me a chart that underscored the fact that I did indeed have hearing damage. He was a former combat medic and recommended that I go see the Veteran's Administration Clinic in town. They would be able to provide me with the best hearing aids once I filed my paperwork with them.

I arrived at the V.A. clinic and after I figured out who it was I had to see, I finally settled down in front of the desk of a very sweet older lady who cordially asked me what it was that I needed. I explained my hearing problems to her and about the tinnitus. Then she asked for my military separation papers so I handed her my DD214. She took off her classes and put the paper up close to her face and seemed to be pouring over it line by line very meticulously. Then she paused and peered over the paper and asked, "You were in Vietnam in the seventies?" I nodded and the she went on reading. After a while longer she put the paper down on her desk and stated very gravely, "You were attached to the Americal Division!" I couldn't figure out where she was going with this so I simply shrugged and said, "Well yes …"

Then she said she needed to make a copy of my records and that she'd be right back. When she returned she gave me my copy back and announced rather seriously, "We've been looking for you guys for a long time!" I sat there wondering what she meant so I waited for more. She began to tell me about how our unit in Vietnam (Americal Division) had been inadvertently sprayed with Agent Orange. I nodded so she went on. She realized I didn't understand so she explained that the military got these chemicals from Monsanto to spray on the foliage as an herbicide so that the enemy could not hide themselves.

The trouble was that the chemicals got all over everything and everyone - including us! The people in our unit had been coming down with all sorts of ailments over the years and they were certain that the Agent Orange will remain in our system for the rest of our lives. For some of us it may never manifest itself in any way but for others there could be severe consequences. Many people have died from it in one way or another. It could eventually "wake up" and my body could self-destruct! It is like I have this enemy residing within me all these years just waiting to get out. The funny thing is that I came back without a scratch and I felt truly blessed!

The VA has scheduled a battery of tests. So far they say I am reasonably healthy but they can't be sure that someday this latent problem that lays dormant inside of me may take control in some sinister fashion or another. When they told me this I managed to be calm about it because I have always felt that God was in control and that He is sovereign in all areas in my life! There will always be some ambiguity in my health for the rest of my life. But instead of worrying and fretting about all the possibilities I choose to take the attitude Paul has lived by;"For whether we live, we live to the Lord; and whether we die, we die to the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's." Romans 14:8 But who knows? I may never get anything more than a cold! But whether I remain healthy or not, I will always be in God's care and I can find peace in that.